i barfeds in our rink
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
