I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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