tell your sister to shave her snatch
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
