I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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