roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
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I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
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Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
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