Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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