Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
