Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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