I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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