I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
