I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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