what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
