i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
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