my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
