I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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