dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
