3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
