I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
