I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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