I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
