afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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