May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize