I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
