They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
