Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
