i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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