that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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