Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Never joke about your clitoris.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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