whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
