Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
