Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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