I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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