stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
