I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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