If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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