My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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