I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You made out with two different species that night
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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