I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
