I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
