I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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