I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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