Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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