? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
