Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
whose ass print is on the piano?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
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