My first STD was from a foam party
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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