Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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