You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
