We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
