someone owes me an orgasm
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
