its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You can't special order awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize