I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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