This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
