Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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