I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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