Kiss
Puke
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
