these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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