How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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