She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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