this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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