he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
