talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
