this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
